Your Focus is Your Destination: Everything Else is Just a Distraction

 

In the journey of life, we often find ourselves striving to reach our desired destinations. Whether it's personal or professional, we set our sights on a goal and work tirelessly towards achieving it. However, along the way, we encounter various distractions that can derail us from our path. Just like driving a car, staying focused on your destination is crucial, even when surrounded by chaos and distractions.

Imagine yourself driving to a particular place, eagerly anticipating your arrival. As you cruise down the road, you ensure you maintain a comfortable speed, allowing yourself to enjoy the journey. But then, you notice other cars recklessly speeding around you, overtaking in the wrong lanes, and honking loudly or even yelling at you. These distractions have the potential to pull you mentally down and drain your energy.

However, the key lesson here is to keep your focus unwaveringly on your journey and destination. Just as you maintain your composure while driving, it is important to stay composed and centered in your personal and professional pursuits. Remember, your focus is your destination, and everything else is just a distraction.

In the context of a car journey, the distractions may include cars that rush past you, drivers who display aggressive behaviour, or even unexpected obstacles on the road. Similarly, in life, distractions can manifest in various forms. It could be the fear of failure, societal pressure, comparison to others, or simply the constant barrage of information and stimuli in the digital age.

The secret to staying on track lies in recognizing that distractions are inevitable but controllable. Just as you can choose to ignore the reckless drivers around you and stay in your lane, you can choose to disregard the distractions that threaten to side-track you in life. It is within your power to filter out the noise and keep your focus on what truly matters.

 Often, people believe that progress means constantly moving forward, taking risks, and pursuing change at all costs. However, there are moments when holding your ground and maintaining the status quo is the most prudent decision. There is wisdom in recognizing when to pause, evaluate, and consolidate your efforts. Sometimes, staying focused on your current position and nurturing what you have already built is essential for long-term success.

 Distractions not only divert your attention but also drain your mental and emotional energy. They can leave you feeling overwhelmed, demotivated, and disconnected from your goals. By recognizing these distractions for what they are—temporary diversions—you can guard your energy and channel it towards the tasks that truly matter. Instead of being pulled down by external factors, you can maintain a positive mindset and a clear vision of your destination.

 Remember, life is a journey, and staying focused on your destination is crucial for success and fulfilment. Just as a driver must navigate through distractions on the road, you too must navigate through the distractions that life throws your way. Remember, your focus is your destination, and everything else is just a distraction. By holding your ground, filtering out the noise, and preserving your energy, you can stay on track and accomplish your personal and professional goals. Embrace the power of focus, and let it guide you to the destination you've set your heart on.

Re-telecast your victories!

India lost to England in the 2022 T20 World Cup Semi-finals by 10 wickets.   That's probably a very soft way of saying what happened in the match - Indian bowlers were clueless and was thrashed all over the park.  This is one of the days in Indian cricket the players and the fans would want to forget in life.  There was one other day where India lost to Pakistan in the same margin.

Having said the above, India is still a good team and is the No.1 Team in T20 Ranking winning 120 of 187 matches they played.  The Sports channel proves this.  You would see the repeat of all the "fantastic" victories India had when there are no major tournaments happening - and at the other end, you won't see any matches being re-telecasted if there was any such defeat like that semifinals.  This gives the audience the feeling that India is a great team - which it is and they can never lose.  These defeats doesn't even stay in our minds more than a day - we get along with life.

How I wish we can do this to our lives, instead of harping on the things where we failed, crying about the relationship which dint work out, feeling bad about times where we were not on par - we start to celebrate things which we did successfully, go through in our mind where we did wonderfully, re-live the moments where we did "fantastically".

Life is a rollercoaster and it's bound to give you ups and downs.  Let's start forgetting the failures and take up only the lessons from it and move on with life.

You are as fantastic as the Indian Cricket Team!

The Magical Mind Tree!

 

“All is well, all is well, all is well”

 I am sure every one of you here, at some point in your life, have used this.  If you have not so far, try this next time when you are tensed and anxious.

 Let us assume a situation.  You enter your house one night and it is absolutely dark.  What would happen when you start thinking that there could be someone in the house or your house is haunted with ghost?  Things would start getting scarier, isn’t it?  Instead, what if you just focus on finding the light switch and switching them on, things would be completely different.

 What are you doing here… you are thinking and you are talking to yourself.  What you are thinking are just not thoughts that crosses your mind, but those are instructions that you give to your mind.  Your mind listens to everything you say, takes up everything you think and act accordingly to it.  All we need to give our mind are the words that would give us strength and support when needed.

 

Let me tell you a story…

 Long long ago, so long ago, nobody can say how long ago…..when there were no vehicles to travel and no cellphones for communications..

 There was a trader who set out from his motherland to a foreign land to do a business and amass wealth.  It was night when he was in the middle of a forest and do not know where to go.  He decided to take rest under a comfortable place and he found a place under a huge tree.

 While relaxing, he felt thirsty and desired for a glass of Water, “I wish I had some water with which I could quench my thirst right now!” There was a miracle. No sooner did he wish for water, a hug pot appeared before him which was full of water. He quenched his thirst and felt relieved.

 After some time, he felt hungry and wished for food. He said to himself, 'I wish I had a plate of tasty food be available to me now, I would be really lucky.'  As soon as he thought of it, there appeared a plate of tasty food before him. He ate to his full satisfaction.

 Too much of food made him drowsy and he said, 'How can I sleep on this rough surface? If there be a soft bed for me?' As he uttered these words, a colourful and comfortable bed of velvet appeared before him immediately.  He was happy and enjoyed a good sleep on the velvet bed.

 After he awoke, he began to think, 'I am all alone in the forest which is full of wild animals like lions, tigers and wolves who may come at any moment and can kill me. I would not be able to protect myself.'

 As he thought so, a ferocious tiger appeared there and attacked the trader. Poor guy was so scared that he could not even run and he was killed by the tiger.

 The trader knew nothing about the tree, that tree was a magical tree which fulfills all the wishes of the person standing under it.

 And now, all of us are under such a tree and the tree is our mind..

It is said that a man is always led by his thought. A positive thinking leads to positive results. It anticipates happiness and favourable result from every situation. Hence, we should always be positive.

 Why do you need to say only positive things to your mind?  The answer is very simple.  Positive thinking shows you the right path, it gives you hope and direction in every step of your life.  Such positive thoughts, when we keep repeating to ourselves, become a strong belief and it guides us to success giving us the ability to face and overcome all the difficulties in the path.

 Okay….how am I going to make myself think positively.

 It is pretty easy.

 Always use only positive words while thinking and while talking. 

 “ I am strong”  ”I am smart”  “I am happy” “I can reach my goal”  – builds confidence in you

 “ I can,”  I am able to”  “it is possible” – gives you strength to complete a task successfully.

 Positive thinking is just the right tonic you need to give your mind whenever you have any issues…not only during the difficult times, in fact for everything in your life.

 This small change in your thoughts would make a huge difference in your life.

 Let us think positive and be positive!

Do your have yours?

One fresh Monday morning, I logged into my work.

"Good morning!  How was your weekend?".  That was Ellen from the opposite desk, unpacking the bags to start work. 

 "It was good, relaxing and a lot of Netflix!".  That is my usual response and this is the usual conversation every Monday.

"How is your week looking ahead? anything exciting?" this was the next question today.  

New question.

Never asked before.

And this made me thinking.

What am I looking at this week, apart from lot of regular calls, regular activities, regular meetings and at the end wait for the next weekend.

Is just it? or Is there something that I can look forward to?

Is there anything that I can accomplish at a professional level or at a personal level?

I started asking these questions.

Do we have any idea how this going this day is going to end or how this week is going to end.  There can be adhoc stuff coming your way, there can be lot of additional work or there can be not much work and I can end up doing lots of time pass. I have no idea about this, but still at the end of the week, can I give myself some satisfaction of completing something or accomplishing something extra to help my future self? 

How do I get there, how do I get there!

The future breaks down to one week or even one day.

If your future is a palace, these days and weeks are the building blocks of it.  Look at your past and how you spent your days earlier, do you have a palace now or are you still building it.  

Mine is still work in progress with no proper structure.

That's okay. 

Today is brick for my futur palace.  I have now decided what I wanted to accomplish at the end of this week.  I am going work on my bricks for a beautiful palace.

Do you have yours?!

Let us be a little nicer!

On my way back home in my bike, after a tiring day at work, I was following this car.  The car had one of the unusual signs in the back of the windows which says,  “Learning, sorry for any delay.”

I was tired, but still I was very patient and following them with the same speed.  To my surprise, they were doing very well for someone who is learning.  I am sure everyone would have done this some time in our life.

I asked myself this question:  Would I have been so patient if there was no such sign in the car?  Maybe, No!

There are some signs like this to tell everyone that “I am learning” – but there are no signs which says, “Going through a depression” or “Lost a child” or “Striving hard to achieve what I want, but not getting any help” or “Going through tough times in life”.

We don’t know what the other person is going through.  When we can be nicer and helpful (by at least not adding any additional pressure) to a stranger on the road, I am sure we can be nicer to people around you – who might be going through some tough phases in life – which you might never be aware of.

Let us give everyone an extra dose of love and kindness and help them in the journey of whatever they are going through.  You cannot solve all their problems with this – you might not know your one act of kindness or a smile can make a big big difference in their life.

Can you give me 2 mins please?

 

"Can you give me 2 mins please?" Dhivya answered the phone call

How often have we said this? And how often was this really 2 mins?

I am trying to give some insight on how words work in our brain - if you are someone who can't take any advise or criticism, please do stop here.  Its not for light hearted people!

There is a whole branch of psychology known as NLP, Neurolingusitic program.  This deals with the connection between how our brain works versus how words are used.  Which inturn means, the choice of words you use has a great impact on how your brain works, how your emotions rally up and what do you actually mean when you say something to people.

For Dhivya, what she said just means give me some time or i am in the middle of something or i cant speak to u right now or give me some time or maybe she is not in a mood to speak now and she has decided to respond politely.  She could have said these words directly, but she choose to use the "2mins", this is probably because she has not sorted out herself what she wants in her mind actually and what she says to others.

This at the very core means, what comes out of your mouth is never what you want actually - your caring words for others are probably not genuine care!  It might sound rude, but sometimes it happens.  

Why does this happen? What can we do to improve on this area if we want to communicate better?

"Ask yourself what do I actually want to say".  The solution maybe simple, but it is difficult to follow as most of the time we do not what to say or we don't want to say what we think for various reasons.  

But, why do we have to do this? why can't I continue saying "2mins"? ...We can do it, but we are allowing the disparity of what we think inside versus what comes out of mouth to increase and this is a very big hindrance in achieving what we want to get in life because we are not clear between what's going on in your mind versus what actually you do.

As mathematician says, the shortest distance between two points in a straight line, start vocalising what you think in your mind, at least to yourself and you would really know how far are we from what is happening in our life to how you want it to happen.

Easy said than done!...But it's never late to try.  Who else would look at you so close if you can't face your internal self?

Oh no! or Oh Good!

 

Ann had tough time reacting to what I was sharing to her.  She was absolutely confused as to be happy or sad on what I said.  I was telling her that my Cat passed away yesterday and she did not know if she need to say “Oh No!” or “Oh Good!”

 

Tommy, my Cat was 4 years old and it was the pet of the house.  Providing an animal food and shelter makes it a less animal, whose normal instinct is to hunt and safe guard its life.  It is not the best thing we could do to them as we are robbing its natural way of existence in this world to fight against anything coming its way, internal or external problems.  We realized it when Tommy fell ill and it has gone into its shell of not responding to anyone and just lying down in a corner of the room, for hours, days and months together.  That’s the Cats way of recovering and that would be the best way of recovery for any “body” in this world as all the life can cure themselves without any external intervention.

 

In this process, it starved and lost lots of weight.  The family couldn’t take the suffering it went through and it hurt more when it did not allow us to come closer to do any help.  Tommy’s battle was tough and we could see it losing the battle day by day.  Life, as it always does, wins eventually!  Everyone of us was sad.

 

Ann, knowing everything about Tommy and liking it very much, for sure felt relieved that Tommy would suffer no more, but was also under the pressure to console us as we were grieving about Tommy.  She dint know if she needs to say “Oh No, you lost Tommy! Or “Oh Good, at last Tommy will suffer no more!”

 

Emotions are sometimes such complicated to understand and handle.  We are mostly programmed to react to the acceptance of the person to whom these emotions are expressed and not what you feel actually.  What we express mostly would be for the society and what we feel inside is actually who we are and how we would see the situation. 

 

Either we make both of these similar or we understand and accept that these can never be same because of the way in which we see the world.  If not, we would get stuck as Ann, not sure what to react and how to handle the situation/person.